Nose-blind

Several of my friends and my girlfriend worked at Olive Garden. This was in the heyday of $8 never ending pasta. There were a lot of perks for having friends “in the industry.”

On the other hand, they all smelled like garlic bread. It was beyond obvious when my girlfriend had worked a shift because it was embedded in her hair. It’s like eating at a BBQ joint and smelling like meat the rest of the day.

Less delicious, but I had a similar experience leaving my grandmother’s house. She and my grandfather had smoked in their house for decades. It was easy to identify things from Gran’s house.

Throughout my life, I’ve had a variety of orbits. Each seemed to accumulate a circle of friends. I have noticed that when I hang out with any group for any length of time, there seems to be a transference. We imprint on each other. We start using the same phrases, joke in the same way, and circle back to the same conversations.

If time passes without hanging out, it fades away. A couple of hours together and it surfaces again. It may never fully leave. Just waiting. The BBQ smell doesn’t disappear when I leave the restaurant. I might just be nose-blind until someone else notices it.

It may not be garlic or BBQ, but who I hang with creates a detectable imprint. An essence or fragrance of behavior. It is hard to change other people, but I am changed by them. Sometimes that’s a good thing, but not always.

Am I aware of the subtle shift based on who I spend time with? Does the shift reflect who I want to be? Who am I when I’m away from everyone for a while?

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.