Security

Airport Security.

Typing that changed my mood. I appreciate the purpose of their existence. I have no issues with the individuals. They are checking the boxes they are asked to check. They can create an overall sense of safety at the airport.

I slid off my shoes and belt. I put my electronics in separate bins. Everything came out of my pockets. Yes, I am sure it was everything. All devices, jewelry, wallet, and all papers—completely removed from my pockets. 

After the machines, the masses huddled to repack and re-dress. Typically, someone’s bag gets pulled aside. I felt a little extra nervousness because of the seriousness and stress of the ordeal.

Once through security, I like to lay eyes on my gate. Then I find somewhere to get water and whatever else strikes my fancy. I had my oldest child. We each got water and a bag of candy. The price was jarring, but we were captive.

I habitually reached to my right rear pocket. Empty. I checked my front pocket, where I will tuck it when we travel. Nope. There are two places in my travel backpack that I stick it. Definitely not in the top pocket. Also, not in the side pocket. My heart was racing. Where did I last remember it? Hotel or rental car? No, I showed it to get through TSA. I checked the two places again. Back through pocket to pocket. I checked my hoodie, my rear pants pocket, my front pocket, and the two backpack pockets. Nothing. I cycled through again. Nothing. I said, “Can you give me a moment?” Next, I turned to the person in line behind us, “Go ahead.” I warbled like a songbird.

I finally stopped cycling through the same things over and over. I decided to check every inch of every pocket. At last, I found my wallet. It was underneath my tablet in the section of my backpack that only ever has my laptop and tablet.

A small amount of stress and I ended up in a fruitless cycle of repeating the exact same steps, hoping for a different outcome. I’ll catch myself endlessly cycling through repeated steps. Unhappy with the outcome, but super hopeful and optimistic for a different result. Sometimes I need to change the steps. Optimism isn’t my towering strength, but even tremendous amounts of it wouldn’t have made my wallet appear where it was supposed to be.

When I am unhappy with the results, do I inspect my actions? Am I conditioned to a loop and not acknowledging I need an adjustment? Am I open to a new way?

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.