Skate

Photo by Jessica Christian on Unsplash

I grew up in the era of roller rinks. They were a fun time in a weird atmosphere. Ours had black lights, a disco ball, and played every era of party music. The smell of popcorn and feet permeated the brick of the building. I attended many birthday parties with pizza and nachos that, even as kids, we knew were suspect.

On my first few passes around the rink, I hugged the outside wall. Eventually, I’d find my stride. Sometimes I ventured to the middle of the rink with the experts. My tricks were limited to wide-leg skating, mostly staying upright, and falling with relative grace.

Every trip to the skating rink meant hours of wearing skates. Often staying until closing time. After the final skate, we headed to the cubbies with our shoes, then dropped our skates at the desk.

The walk to the desk was a tough one. I was never ready to leave my friends. Physically, my legs acclimated to the sweeping glide of skating. Friction did not allow my shoes the same slide. With the skates gone, my legs were gummy and ineffective.

My family and I were super lucky to take a two-week vacation overseas. Much of our trip was on a bus or a boat. It was a lovely trip and just long enough to fully acclimate to the new time zone.

Our return flight got us to the house after midnight. We stumbled in and collapsed into bed. When I woke, I was super confused by the room. It was my bedroom, but I was confused where I was. I felt like I had slept solid, but the clock told me it had only been two hours.

I got up to use the restroom, per the requirements of my aging body. I walked to the bathroom, bracing for the familiar rocking of the boat. Like walking down a bus or airplane aisle, grasping something to hold on to with each step.

The skating lasted for a few hours. The trip was a couple of weeks. Both were enough time to imprint on my behavior physically and emotionally. No matter how short the journey, or how familiar the return, the present is always infused with echoes of the past.

Am I aware of my actions now that are fueled by the past? Are they helpful to me? Do I react to my current situations or is it under the shadow of an experience that has passed?

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.