There

Charity is supposed to be selfless, but it’s hard to beat the feeling of helping someone in need. I’ve discovered another benefit of charity work is being asked to do something outside my area of comfort.

One of the more discomforting assignments was visiting the sick at the hospital. I find hospitals and funerals to be nearly unbearable. They force the acceptance of my mortality. In everyday life, I can busy myself and look away. Hospitals and funerals discard the ability to look away. Ignored or not, my finitude remains.

I am not a fan of small talk. When I’m forced into conversation, I come prepared with questions or ideas to keep it moving. In the hospital, I learned that patients have no patience for my small talk. As much as I dislike it, small talk is exceptionally wasteful for people who might be down to literal hours.

Every topic I considered fell flat. I didn’t know what to do. I was helpless. I sat there trying to think of something to say. Something worth their time. Nothing came. I just sat there. Thinking. Sitting. Quiet. I was consumed with my emotions. I felt awkward and embarrassed.

“Thank you.”
I looked up, expecting to see a nurse.
“Thank you for sitting with me. Everyone tries to talk. I don’t want to talk. I just don’t want to be alone.”

The burden was lifted, for a moment I felt relief. Followed by the heaviness of realizing I was focused on my comfort, not theirs. Although I stumbled onto the wisdom, I have found it to be consistently true. When someone has experienced something significant, something big, it does not matter what I have to say. I don’t even need to say anything. Being there is enough. Their knowing you are there is enough.

Where is my mild discomfort preventing me from helping others? Do I talk when I should be quiet? Do you know I am here for you?

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.