Walter
I’ve had many jobs. The most interesting was my parents’ magic store. I worked for family members at a gun store and as an HVAC technician. I was a cart boy at a golf course, a car mechanic, supported an insurance agency, built websites, and others I am certainly forgetting. One of the most influential was a call center. I was only there for 18 months, but got at least 18 years of life lessons.
I’d joke we had one of each personality, culture, economic situation, race, and in some cases — disorders. I learned to connect and integrate with people that had a variety of life experiences. I made life-long friends.
Walter and I became fast friends, and we remained close until his passing. He was kind and patient. He listened with an intensity. One day in the break room, the news was reporting civil unrest in response to racism. I said to Walter, “I am pretty sure we are one generation away from racism disappearing. My kids don’t understand the idea of racism.” Walter paused, then simultaneously kind and firm said, “I hope so, because my boys understand it too well.”
He told me his story of growing up as the only black family in his Wisconsin neighborhood. The struggles of teaching his kids to be kind and patient in a world that felt tilted against them. As he shared his story, I thought about my experiences. I felt like I had earned everything. I recalled all the referrals, recommendations, and free passes. I remembered some of the crazy things I’d done and got away with just a warning.
Privilege isn’t getting away with something instead of getting caught. Privilege is getting away with stuff when I’ve been caught. Privilege is blind to itself, both giving and getting it. The first abuse of power is not realizing that I have it. It is difficult to differentiate what was my hard work or a supportive environment and network that eased my path. I learned from Walter that we must hear other people’s story. He showed me that sharing my privilege does nothing to diminish it.
Have I heard your story? Do you know mine? Am I generous in sharing my privilege?
Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.
Richard, thank you for sharing this! I will meditate on "Privilege isn’t getting away with something instead of getting caught. Privilege is getting away with stuff when I’ve been caught." One of the best things we can do is to pay it forward in life. I have been blessed with someone loving me unconditionally, as well as someone taking a chance on me that I didn't deserve. God has a plan for all of us, and He executes that plan through each of us.