Bracelet

“Cons don’t fool us because we’re stupid, they fool us because we’re human.”
~Brian Brushwood, host of World’s Greatest Con¹

We stood inside the Colosseum in the middle of Rome. Trying to ignore the heat, we listened to stories of gladiators, animal hunts, and various festivals held within this majestic structure. It was one of several stops that evoked powerful emotion. Our tour group collected at the end of the Colosseum tour, and our Tour Director led us to the Forum.

Rome is filled with impressive fountains and many drinkable cold water sources. Once you get anywhere near the tourist sites, a swarm of salespeople aggressively try to sell bottles of water and cheap umbrellas. The pestering was tiresome. We adapted and moved quickly from point to point. The politeness faded. Eye contact ceased. Eyes forward and march.

A stranger spoke to me. “Ah man, your white shoes are brown now.” He was right. I had seen him, but I hadn’t looked at him. I appreciated it was something other than the barks of “WATER!” or “UMBRELLA!”

“Yea, they are… oh well.” I kept walking.

“Haha, funny. I am from Africa. Where are you from?”

“America.” I continued to walk, but looked over my shoulder to respond. Half being polite, half checking on my family in tow. We needed to keep up with our fast-moving tour group. I wanted to be clear. I wasn’t buying whatever he was selling.

“Really?!? Here! Take this as a souvenir. No charge. It is a gift from me.” He seemed friendly and genuinely interested. He slid a bracelet off his wrist and tossed it to me. I caught it over my shoulder and kept moving. He was falling behind, but moving with us. “Thank you.” I nodded over my shoulder and kept moving.

“Wait! Look at it!”

“Yea, an elephant. Very cool, thank you.” I was polite, but signaling I don’t want whatever he’s selling. I have read Cialdini’s book, Influence. I recognized the “Law of Reciprocity.” I wasn’t falling for it.

“Hold on, look at mine…” I looked at his bracelet. He continued, “They match. My wife just had our first baby.”

“Congratulations! That is super exciting.” We are falling behind now. I moved two of my kids in front of me to close the gap to the rest of our group.

“Here… for each of you,” he handed a bracelet to my oldest child and my wife. To me, he said, “Hold on. Let me put it on for you.” I declined, and he insisted.

Another member of our tour group noticed what was going on. She got heated fast and told him, “No! Stop!” Her anger was jarring. It was an overreaction. He was clear that it was free. I was just trying to shake off his pitch. He was a nice guy, just trying really hard to sell something. I was not sure why she was so furious… yet.

He gently said to her, “No, it’s ok. It’s free. It’s just a gift. Take it.” I thought, See, he’s giving the bracelet. I just need to eject from the next step in his gimmick.

He held my wrist, slid the bracelet on, and cinched it tight. I thanked him and tried to move again. The other tour member continued to yell, “No!”

He held my arm, and his entire being morphed. His posture changed, he tucked his chin, and furrowed his brow. In a deep and mean tone, he yelled, “THEN GIVE ME MY BRACELET BACK!!”

“Sure…” I tried to take it off, and it wouldn’t untie. The knot was weird. I tried to slip it off, but it was way too tight. My son handed his back to the man. I positioned myself between my family and this newly revealed monster.

Our group had passed between an opening in two metal crowd barriers. I stood in the middle and told my wife to give me hers. I reached over the barrier and dropped it on the ground. I believe he assumed it was mine. Mine was stuck on my wrist. I jammed my arm in my pocket, and we picked up the tempo. I kept an eye out for him. I was afraid he’d come for the one I couldn’t remove.

Things calmed down, and the other tour member, a Latin teacher, explained her reaction. She said they give out a free bracelet, then demand it back. When you can’t get it off, a large group of them surrounds you and starts yelling “THIEF!” until you pay them to stop. I asked if she knew how to remove the bracelet, and she did. I didn’t think to ask why she was so versed.

I had my family. I was supposed to be protecting them. I was scared. I felt so stupid. I felt embarrassed that I fell for something.

I started trying to soothe myself by justifying my stupidity. It was crowded and literally a foreign land. My adrenaline was high. We were hot, tired, and hungry. We had fallen way behind the tour group.

I wasn’t stupid. I was human. I was kind. He took advantage of that kindness—of my situation—but I didn’t do something wrong. I wasn’t being weak.

I still want to be kind. Even if inconvenient. Even when someone twists it into something else. I won’t fall for that scam again, but I won’t let it harden me. To be fair, he gave me a free bracelet… and a story.

Can I stay open while keeping cautious boundaries? Will I choose kindness, even at an expense? Can I keep learning and remain human?

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.

1. https://worldsgreatestcon.fireside.fm/

I’m aware I was falling for a scam, not a con, but the quote applies, and Brian’s podcast is awesome. Check it out.