Outbox

The Parable of an Idiot told in two parts. A good way to learn a lesson is the hard way. A better way to learn a lesson is to let someone else tell you about their hard way.

A valuable lesson I learned via the painful route required two trips down the same road. I figured it out, but it took twice because I’m that stubborn.

Part 1

“Dear Boss-

My co-worker is an idiot and a screw up.

Regards,

Richard”

While not the exact message, it summarizes my intent. I didn’t work with this person frequently, but I knew they spelled their name uniquely. I wanted to make sure there was no confusion about which idiot I was referring to. So, I looked them up in the system by typing their name into the cc line. I made sure to get each letter right.

Proud of my handiwork, I quickly hit send. I felt the gut punch of this error as I watched the item flee my outbox.

I tried to convince myself copying them on the assault was a power move. It was not. I hadn’t been fair in my assessment of the situation. I added some extra spice. The note matched my feelings but did not accurately report the events. My newly selected arch-nemesis wasted no time in setting the record straight.

Part 2

“Dear Boss-

My (other) co-worker is an idiot and a screw up.

Regards,

Richard”

Again, it's not the exact message, but it's close enough. Time passed before I lodged a new attack against a different co-worker. But I learned my lesson. I did not copy them. I would never make that dumb mistake again.

I did, however, exaggerate the circumstances again. I was annoyed and wanted my annoyance to be felt. I skewed what happened towards my favor. But I was making a point—and it was just to my boss.

Within a few minutes, he replied, “Let’s discuss this in my office tomorrow morning.” Okay, that was easy enough—until I noticed my boss had cc’d the other person. Drats.

It only took twice, but I am now careful to be compassionate in my re-telling of events. I strive to highlight both points of view. I also assume every message will be read by all other parties.

When there are competing interests, will I slow down and assume good intentions? Do I stand by my message regardless of who reads it? Am I willing to say directly to people what I say about them privately?

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.