Sleep

It took years, but I now fully embrace sleep. Especially when I am sick. I had a stomach bug, and I was miserable. I turn into a fussy brat when I am sick. The only gifts an illness brings are naps and, in this case, some weight loss.

There was a time when going to bed early was a punishment, which is laughable now. As a child, I did not appreciate naps or normal bedtimes. I was completely unaware that my night hyperactivity was exhaustion—a biological burst of wrap-it-up and get to bed, dummy.

On my journey to adulthood, I have experienced a significant amount of physical, mental, and emotional change. The smaller moments, like embracing sleep or becoming more patient, are hard to see without a longer lens. There are also larger moments like having children that are significant, nearly immediate, changes.

I am aware of my ability to change. I am also completely aware that I contradict myself all the time by saying things like, “People never change,” or, “This is just who I am.” I can change. Although, as with most people, I dislike being changed.

Stress-free is very likely a myth, which would make it a terrible goal. Change is stressful. Change is stress. As I deviate from whatever my current state is, I am changing. This change is stressful. To make matters worse, I sometimes resist the change which just further increases the stress.

Am I unable or just unwilling to change? Can I minimize the stress of change by accepting it? Will I appreciate the growth I have already accomplished?

Be curious, be kind, be whole, do good things.